Listed here are words and phrases you just shouldn't use when ice racing...


"Breaking the ice"
Look, if ya feel a little awkward hanging around with a group of ice racers you don't know, there's no need to "break the ice". Tell a nice clean joke or something.

"Thin ice"
Nobody likes thin ice. Don't even allow the concept into your vocabulary. Don't go there.

"Testing the waters"
Trying something new, and you need some feedback from your fellow racers? Well, don't worry, they won't like it. Especially if you have the unmitigated gall to mention ice in its non-solid form.

"Taking the plunge"
OK, you could be contemplating the switch from SAAB to VW, or from Blizzaks to Hakks. Maybe even thinking about installing a cage and bolting on actual ice tires. Just don't couch it in terms of plunging. We don't like plunging.

"Global warming"
An appalling concept. Don't even think about bringing it up. We're an ice racing club. We're not about warmth. Duh.

"Reaching new depths"
Ice racers don't do depths. They don't like deep. That should be obvious. No wonder so many of them are single (it can't be the hygiene...) Find a different way to describe their humor. Please.

"Hitting rock bottom"
Rock bottom, sandy bottom, mud bottom. Whatever, they're all bad. They should be covered by a nice thick layer of ice, and left alone for as much of the year as possible.

"Thaw"
Another depressing subject better left unmentioned. Yes, it's going to get warm again sooner or later, but do you have to bring it up?

"Clear sailing"
Unless you're talking ice boats, don't. Sailing implies water. Water is bad. Ice is good. Repeat after me...

"Sinking feeling"
Don't have that sinking feeling. Just don't have it.

"Fallen through"
Ice racers make things happen. They get it done. Nothing falls through. Ice racing is all about commitment.